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About the author
- Karolien Koolhof is a coach voor introverts and gifted individuals
- Author of the book Introvert Leadership
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Are You Tired of People-Pleasing?
Karolien Koolhof •
Introverts often possess a great talent for meeting the needs of others. They are empathetic, excellent listeners, and readily provide space for others. However, at times, this tendency can escalate into what we call people-pleasing behavior. In doing so, you prioritize others' needs over your own, leading to potential burnout and exhaustion. Does this sound familiar? There's something you can do about it.
People-pleasing involves continually striving to make others happy, even if it comes at the expense of your own well-being. There are numerous forms of it, a few examples being:
- Saying 'yes' excessively: You agree to requests and obligations, even when you have little time or energy to spare.
- Struggling with setting boundaries: You find it challenging to establish and maintain your own boundaries, often allowing others to overstep them.
- Constantly worrying about others' opinions: You're perpetually concerned about how others perceive you and try to meet their expectations, even if it contradicts your true desires.
- Neglecting self-care: You disregard your own needs and well-being because you're too preoccupied with supporting others.
Addressing People-Pleasing Behavior
It's crucial to learn how to reduce people-pleasing behavior to regain balance and take better care of yourself. It all starts with self-awareness. Take the time to observe your own behavior and habits. Recognize when you're putting others' desires ahead of your own.
Additionally, learn to say 'no' when necessary. Setting and maintaining your own boundaries isn't selfish; it's a way to create more space for yourself. Pay ample attention to your own needs and desires. What makes you happy? What are your goals and dreams? Ensure that you allocate time and energy to things that are important to you.
Furthermore, master effective communication about your needs and boundaries with others. Be honest and assertive in your interactions. Prioritize self-care, both physically and emotionally. Take good care of your body and mind, and make time to relax and recharge.
Finally, accept that you can't please everyone all the time. It's impossible to consistently meet others' expectations. It's okay to occasionally disappoint others because your well-being matters too.
Reducing people-pleasing behavior is a process that takes time and practice, but it's a significant step that can greatly improve your life. In a coaching journey, we can delve deeper into these aspects.
Are you ready to stop people-pleasing? Feel free to reach out to me.
