Previous
About the author
- Karolien Koolhof is a coach voor introverts and gifted individuals
- Author of the book Introvert Leadership
- Contact
introvert pesso
Being Seen, a Basic Need
Karolien Koolhof •
Do you notice a strong need for approval from others within yourself? Do you often think about how others see and judge you? This may be related to a deep desire to be seen for who you truly are. But how do you achieve that?
Albert Pesso, a pioneer in psychotherapy, emphasized the importance of the 'place' in an individual's life. The place represents the experience of truly mattering, being recognized, and appreciated for who you are. This certainly applies to introverts as well, who often have a more subtle presence.
Pesso suggests that fulfilling the need for a place has a profound effect on our mental and emotional well-being. For introverts, it can sometimes be a challenge to feel seen in a world that often prefers extroverted qualities.
Now, how do you determine if you have received enough 'place'? Self-reflection is crucial in this regard. Take regular time to evaluate how you feel in different situations and relationships. Pay attention to signals such as inner peace, satisfaction, and a sense of authenticity. Do you feel free to express yourself without fear of rejection?
On the other hand, if you find that you frequently doubt your own worth, often compare yourself to others, or feel like you're constantly playing a role in social situations, this may indicate that your need for a place is not fully being met. Recognizing these signals is the first step towards change.
I'd like to offer you a few practical tips to further work on this:
- The foundation of a place lies in knowing yourself. Take the time to deeply reflect on who you are, what your values are, and where your strengths lie. Self-awareness forms the basis of authenticity.
- Show your true self in a way that suits you. As an introvert, you are often good at profound one-on-one conversations. Opt for quality over quantity in your social interactions and focus on genuine connections.
- Others cannot guess what you need. Be clear and open about your need to be seen and appreciated. This also applies to your wishes and boundaries in relationships.
- Look for people who understand and appreciate the value of introversion. Build relationships based on respect for your personality and unique contribution.
- Reflect on your achievements and celebrate them. Recognition of your own successes is a powerful way to see and appreciate yourself, regardless of how small the victory may seem.
- Sometimes it may be necessary to step out of your comfort zone to be seen. Be open to new experiences and opportunities because growth and development contribute to a stronger sense of place.
It is important to be patient in this process and take small steps that lead to a greater sense of place and recognition. As an introvert, you are allowed to take up space and be seen for who you truly are. Be kind to yourself and remind yourself regularly that your unique contribution is valuable. The rest will follow naturally.
Would you like to talk more about this? Feel free to contact me anytime.
