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About the author
- Karolien Koolhof is a coach voor introverts and gifted individuals
- Author of the book Introvert Leadership
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A New Year Without Fixing Yourself
Karolien Koolhof •
As the year comes to an end and everyone looks ahead, this is often the moment when almost unconsciously you start preparing yourself for improvement. Becoming a bit more visible next year. A bit easier. A bit less tired. You might recognize that impulse: at the turn of a new year, thinking that you are the one who needs to change. That you need to sharpen yourself, adjust, or fix something.
While this transition might actually be trying to show you something else: that there is nothing that needs fixing, but there is something that deserves understanding.
At the end of a year, people often talk about letting go. For introverted people, that rarely concerns big, dramatic things. It’s about subtle patterns that have quietly become habits. The idea that you always need to be available. That silence requires explanation. That you have to respond more quickly in order to be taken seriously.
You may be looking back on moments when you crossed your own boundaries without anyone noticing. Or without allowing yourself to listen to them. Not because you didn’t know what you needed, but because adapting felt safer.
Misunderstanding
Introversion is still often seen as something that needs to be compensated for. As if you’re only allowed to participate if you present yourself just a little more forcefully than actually suits you. That idea easily creeps into your thinking, especially when you look back on a year in which a lot was asked of you.
But introversion is not a deficit. It is a way of perceiving and processing. Introverted people take in a lot of information at once, think deeply, and quickly sense when something is off. That doesn’t mean they can handle less. It means their system is more finely tuned.
Endurance
Many introverted people make it through the year without visible problems. They function. They deliver quality. They are reliable. Precisely because of that, the cost is not always seen. Perhaps you felt a fatigue that didn’t simply disappear. Tension around social or work-related moments. Or a vague sense that you lost a bit of yourself along the way.
These are not signs of failure; they are signals. Not to reinvent yourself. Not to become more visible, faster, or louder. What you mainly need is attunement. Space to process. Autonomy over stimuli and pace. Recognition for depth and nuance. And above all: understanding of your own system.
When you understand why something costs energy, you no longer have to judge yourself for it. Then you can choose. And that makes the new year feel considerably lighter.
Willingness
Maybe this is the moment to take something different with you than resolutions. Not a checklist of things to improve, but an attitude. The willingness to take yourself seriously. To listen sooner to the signals of your body. To fight less against what is inherently yours.
Introverted people don’t need to become more. They are allowed to be more themselves—also in how they are visible, how they contribute, and how they lead. Not by inflating yourself, but by standing firmly in your own rhythm.
The turn of the year is not a hinge on which you must recalibrate yourself. It is a transition in which you get to choose what you leave behind and what you carry forward. Perhaps this year you let go of the idea that you need fixing. And take something else into the new year instead: understanding, calm, and trust in how you work.