Not every introvert is highly sensitive
Anyone who looks up something about introversion on social media quickly lands in a world where a handful of terms keep bleeding into one another. Introverted, highly sensitive, easily overstimulated, recovering from burnout: it all gets mentioned in one breath, as if these were different words for the same thing. That is recognisable and comforting, because it gives you language for what you feel. But it isn't quite right, and that is more than a detail.
Introversion, high sensitivity and mental health problems are in fact three different things, operating on different levels. They can occur together, but they are not the same. And precisely by lumping them together, we create confusion that gets in people's way more than it helps.
Three things worth keeping apart
Introversion is a personality trait. The term comes from Carl Jung and is, at its core, about where you get your energy. An introvert recharges in quiet or in small company and drains more easily in busyness, while an extravert comes alive around stimulation and people. It says nothing about whether you are shy, whether you like people, or how socially skilled you are. Somewhere between a third and half of people are introverted to a greater or lesser degree. It is an ordinary variation, not a problem.
High sensitivity is something else. The psychologist Elaine Aron introduced it as sensory processing sensitivity: an innate trait in which you process stimuli more deeply and react more strongly to noise, busyness and the moods of others. Aron's research showed that this is a trait in its own right, one you can separate from introversion. That also follows from a simple fact. About seventy percent of highly sensitive people are introverted, but thirty percent are not. So there are highly sensitive extraverts, people who come alive around others and become overstimulated quickly at the same time. If high sensitivity and introversion were the same thing, that group could not exist.
And then there is the category of mental health problems. Burnout, an anxiety disorder or depression are not personality traits but conditions. They can happen to anyone, introvert or extravert, highly sensitive or not. Aron herself stresses that high sensitivity is emphatically not a disorder, if only because the trait occurs in such a large group of people. Being introverted isn't one either.
Why the confusion does harm
At first glance it seems harmless to use these things interchangeably. It gives people a sense of recognition, and that has value. But there are two problems with it.
The first is that a normal trait becomes a problem. If introversion sits in the same row as overstimulation and burnout, you soon start to see your quiet side as something fragile, something to be managed. While there is nothing to manage about the fact that you would rather have a small dinner than a crowded party. Susan Cain showed in her book Quiet how stubborn that misunderstanding is, and how often introversion gets confused with shyness. Shyness is about a fear of other people's judgement, and introversion simply about energy. Those are two very different things.
The second problem is that real difficulties get blurred. If a burnout is presented as a kind of natural extension of your sensitive nature, it becomes harder to see that it is something needing attention and sometimes help. An introvert who burns out does not do so because they are introverted, but because something is off balance between load and recovery. That distinction is exactly what you need in order to do something about it.
Nuance as the antidote
None of this means you may not use these terms. They help people understand themselves, and that is no small thing. But it helps enormously to keep them apart. You can be introverted without being highly sensitive, or highly sensitive and still someone who comes alive around company. And you can be both and still never burn out, or burn out without it having anything to do with your character.
Perhaps that is the most freeing thought. Your quiet side is not a diagnosis and not a problem in need of a solution. It is a way of being put together, with strengths of its own. Whoever keeps that clearly in mind has a good deal less about themselves to repair.
About the author
- Karolien Koolhof is a coach voor introverts and gifted individuals
- Author of the book Introvert Leadership
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