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Today is Mother's Day, a perfect opportunity to pause and reflect on my role as a parent. Now, with four more years of experience, I'd like to share the tips and insights I’ve gathered over the past years. As a highly gifted introverted person, parenthood can sometimes feel overwhelming. However, with the right approach and self-care, I’ve found ways to draw both energy and fulfillment from raising my children.
Parenthood can be intense, and sometimes you feel like you’re constantly “on.” This is especially true for me, as I draw much of my energy from moments of quiet and solitude. It’s incredibly important for me to schedule moments of rest, even if it’s just a few minutes a day. This could be reading a book, taking a walk outside, or enjoying a relaxing bath.
Setting clear boundaries with your partner, family, and friends is also essential. Whether you need a lot or little help, it’s important to communicate when you need a break or when you could use assistance. Setting boundaries isn’t a weakness, but rather an act of self-care and ensuring you can take care of your family in a healthy way.
Flexibility
Parents often feel the urge to plan everything and do it perfectly, especially if you tend to approach things thoroughly, as I do. However, I’ve learned that a bit of flexibility in your routine is often the key to being able to relax. The right balance between structure (such as bedtimes and meals) and room for spontaneous moments helps to ease the pressure.
In the hustle of parenthood, it can also be tempting to neglect your own interests. Yet, for your well-being, it’s important to make time for your passions. Whether it’s a hobby, a project, or simply time for yourself, it ensures you as a parent gain more energy and satisfaction from daily life. For me, that meant taking on a psychology bachelor’s degree, because it provides the mental challenge I need.
Support
Parenthood can feel isolating at times, especially when social norms don’t always align with your own approach. It’s valuable to connect with other parents who recognize your situation, whether that’s through online groups or by forming friendships with like-minded parents. I’ve joined Pharos and am part of various app groups with people who share my experiences.
Parenthood is not a solo performance. It’s important to have a network of friends, family, or even professional support. Whether you need a listening ear or practical help in raising your children, having a support network makes parenthood less heavy and ensures you don’t have to carry everything alone.
At first, I also had certain expectations of myself as a parent. I thought I should always be patient, organized, and “perfect.” Over time, I’ve learned that parenthood isn’t always predictable, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow. I’ve become kinder to myself and accept that it’s okay not to have everything under control.
Strength
As a parent, I’ve learned not to view my introversion and giftedness as negative traits. In fact, they enable me to find peace amid the chaos, respond thoughtfully, and teach my child valuable lessons about self-awareness and introspection. You don’t have to conform to what others expect of parents; instead, you can embrace your own calm parenting style.
Whether you’re a mother or a father, the most important thing is to give yourself the space to grow into that role. I hope the tips I’ve shared can help you find strength and peace in your own way.