Have you ever tried to develop a new habit or unlearn an old one, like saying “no” more often, exercising regularly, or worrying less? Then you know how challenging it can be. You start with the best intentions, but before you know it, you slip back into your old patterns. Why does this happen? And, more importantly, what can you do about it?
Our brain is smart but also a bit lazy. It wants to save energy, and it does this by automating much of our behavior. Think about brushing your teeth or riding a bike: you don’t have to consciously think about it anymore. When you repeat something often, the connections between certain brain cells become stronger, like creating a highway. The more you repeat that behavior, the wider the highway becomes. This makes it easy to repeat the behavior but hard to change direction.
If you want to create a new habit, you need to build a new pathway in your brain. Imagine trying to carve a walking trail through a dense forest: it takes time and effort. Meanwhile, that old highway to your previous behavior is still there, and it’s very tempting to take. That’s why change often feels like swimming against the current.
The good news? Our brain isn’t static. Thanks to something called plasticity, it can change—even in adulthood. Every time you practice new behavior, you strengthen the connections involved. That highway in your brain gradually narrows, while your new path gets wider. This process is called potentiation: repetition makes new connections grow stronger.
How to Approach Change
Start small
You don’t have to take big steps right away. Small changes, like saying “no” just once a day or walking for five minutes, are easier to stick with and give your brain the chance to develop new pathways.
Repeat, repeat, repeat
Consistency is key. The more often you practice new behavior, the quicker your brain will start seeing it as “normal.”
Be patient
Your old habits didn’t form overnight, so don’t expect to change them in a day. Give yourself the time to build new pathways.
Make it fun
Positive emotions enhance the process. Find a way to enjoy your new behavior so that your brain associates it with a reward.
Changing behavior isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible either. Your brain is like a muscle: the more you practice, the stronger it becomes. By taking small steps and staying consistent, you can gradually replace old habits with new ones. And who knows? One day, that new path in your brain might just become a highway.
Would you like to talk more about this? Feel free to reach out!