Previous
In my coaching practice I come across it very regularly: adaptive behavior that is so strong that people no longer know what they actually want. Why do we do this and above all: what can you do about it?
Much research has been done in social psychology on imitative behaviour. For example, there are studies that show that people spontaneously imitate the facial expressions of others, that we adopt someone's body position, or his or her gestures or the way someone speaks.
People imitate each other's behavior consciously, but also unconsciously. We are mainly guided by what other people do, which is seen as 'the norm'. The behavior of others activates our mirror neurons, after which we show the same behavior. It is important that we see those other people as role models: your family, your partner or people you look up to.
Three functions
This imitation behavior has three main functions: it keeps you safe (because you run away when others do), you learn from it (learning by imitation is how children already learn), and it makes you social (it connects you to others). Very useful from an evolutionary point of view, but it can also make you focus too much on the other person. How do you break this pattern now?
That too has been looked at in science and the answer lies in how you look at yourself. Imitation behavior is related to your social self: who are you in relation to others? Highly empathetic people in particular are strongly focused on this. However, acting autonomously is related to your personal self: who are you and what do you want?
The good news is, you can activate your personal self. As a result, you are less inclined to adapt and you are better able to go your own way. You can do this by occasionally actively reflecting on the question: what do I want now? That doesn't mean you lose sight of others completely, but it can help you get some more balance. This way you go from a copycat to a more autonomous version of yourself.
Do you want more insight into what drives you and how you can strengthen that? In my career trajectory Introverted Power at Work, this is an important topic. Feel free to contact me for more information.
