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Sometimes a coachee comes to me with a clear question: “I want to know what suits me,” or: “I want to stand more firmly in my work.” So we get to work. We explore personality, motivations, talents. We identify what gives energy, what fits, which professions or roles align with that. And yet… sometimes it feels like something is missing. As if the puzzle pieces don’t quite fit.
Over the years, I’ve come to recognize what often lies beneath that feeling. Something people usually don’t mention upfront, but that gradually reveals itself. Not in loud signals, but in the undercurrent. In sentences like: “It doesn’t quite feel like my place.” “I know what I want, but I don’t dare take the step.” “They say I need to be more visible, but that feels like I have to become someone I’m not.”
At that point, it’s no longer about knowing. And not even about being able. It’s about being allowed. About the right to exist. About taking up inner space. And about the question: may I be who I am, in the place that feels right for me?
Disappearing
Many of my coachees are introverted or highly gifted. Often sensitive. Often conscientious. Often intelligent on multiple levels at once. And often they've been adapting for years: being quieter than they’d like, working harder than necessary, or constantly doubting themselves.
When we reach that point in a coaching process, I don’t use another analysis. Instead, I slow things down. We explore the experience of place. Sometimes literally: with an exercise in which they step into their old and new place in the room. What changes when you stand in the place that does feel right? How does your body move? What happens to your breathing? What do you feel?
Voices
We also listen to the inner voices that hold them back. The perfectionist. The pleaser. The critic. The overthinker. All parts that once developed to protect, but now block movement. Not out of malice, but out of habit. Only when those voices are heard, can space open up for something new.
Sometimes I ask: what if you didn’t have to add anything or prove yourself? If you didn’t have to disappear or fight to be allowed to exist? Then it becomes quiet. But in that silence lies the very answer.
Finding your place isn’t about status or role. It’s about being yourself. And being present in the world that way. Not larger, not smaller, but just right.
Maybe you’re also searching for your place, or you feel you're close but still don’t quite dare to stand there fully. If you’d like to explore that, you’re warmly invited to get in touch. Together, we’ll find out what truly fits you.
