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About the author
- Karolien Koolhof is a coach voor introverts and gifted individuals
- Author of the book Introvert Leadership
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neurodiversiteit boekpresentatie The Brain Hub neurodivergent
The illusion of inclusion: why awareness isn't enough
Karolien Koolhof •
It is encouraging to see that more and more companies are putting neurodiversity on the agenda. Inspiring speakers are flown in, workshops are organized, and statements of intent are drafted. But then Monday morning arrives. The open-plan office is just as noisy as ever, and the manager who was so understanding on Friday is simply asking for that deadline again today. However valuable that initial awareness is, it often gets stuck in good intentions. But how do you ensure it doesn’t end there?
This is the illusion of inclusion that, if we aren't careful, we will all remain stuck in. We live in a time when neurodiversity is ‘hot’. Companies are tripping over themselves to show how inclusive they are. Posters are hung up, statements are shared on LinkedIn, and lunch sessions are organized. But too often, it remains in the realm of good intentions and symbolic politics. It is performative inclusion. We applaud the idea that everyone is allowed to be themselves, as long as ‘being yourself’ doesn’t clash with efficiency, processes, and the unwritten rules of the organization. As soon as there is friction, as soon as neurodiversity demands a real adjustment to the way we work, we check out.
The core of the problem is that we confuse awareness with behavioral change. A workshop is a fantastic starting shot, a necessary icebreaker to shatter taboos, but it is not a solution for the structural barriers that people with a neurodivergent brain encounter. In practice, I see a growing gap between the theory we preach and the stubborn reality of the workplace. This gap is maintained by a lack of genuine courage on two sides: with the manager and with the employee themselves.
Let’s start with the manager. In my conversations, I notice that unwillingness is rarely the problem. Managers are quite willing to take into account the differences in their team. They truly understand that someone with autism may need clear frameworks and that someone with ADHD might flourish in short, intensive sprints. But knowing is not the same as doing.
Many managers are trapped in a system designed for standardization. Job profiles, appraisal systems, and office layouts are based on the average. As soon as an employee deviates from that average, current structures quickly label it as ‘hassle’ or ‘extra work’. The manager lacks the tools to provide customization without feeling like they are losing their grip on the team’s results. The consequence is that neurodiversity is approached as a problem that needs to be managed, rather than a talent that needs to be utilized.
The Challenge
On the other side of the table sits the employee, and there lies an enormous challenge that we must not underestimate. We can shout that organizations need to adapt, but that does not absolve the neurodivergent professional of their own responsibility. It starts with self-acceptance, and that is a process that goes far beyond sticking a label on yourself. Many people I speak to have spent years, sometimes unconsciously, trying to meet a norm that doesn’t fit them. They have taught themselves to survive by masking, by working harder to compensate for their ‘shortcomings’.
If you have told yourself for years that you just need to try a little harder to be as organized, social, or calm as the rest, it is terrifying to suddenly stand up for what you really need. Assertiveness requires a deeply rooted realization that your way of working is not ‘wrong’, but simply different. Only when that internal conviction exists can you enter into the conversation with your manager. Not from a victim mentality (“I can’t do this because I have ADHD”), but from a position of strength: “To utilize my analytical capacity optimally for this project, I need a low-stimulus environment.” As long as that assertiveness is missing, the employee will keep waiting for the environment to solve it, and that is not going to happen.
Real change only happens in the uncomfortable middle ground, where the searching manager and the assertive employee truly meet. This requires conversations that go beyond polite pleasantries. It is no longer about ‘making allowances for’, which implies that the neurodivergent employee is a burden that must be carried. It is about the strategic deployment of cognitive diversity. We know from research that teams with diverse brains are more innovative, recognize errors in complex systems faster, and come up with more creative solutions. But we only mine that gold if we are willing to adapt our processes to the human, rather than pushing the human into the process.
A Change in Mentality
This demands a change in mentality where we move away from the idea that there is one right way of working. It requires leadership that dares to differentiate. Why must everyone work from 9 to 5? Why must everyone attend every meeting? Why do we measure everyone against the same yardstick? If we dare to look at what someone specifically needs, we create a culture where not only the neurodivergent employee blossoms, but where everyone benefits from more autonomy and customization.
This precise tension is the subject of the new book 'Een tikkeltje anders is eigenlijk heel normaal' (Being a Touch Different is Actually Quite Normal), which I wrote together with The Brain Hub. We wrote this book to bridge the gap between the science of the brain and the practice of the workplace. We combine insights from neuropsychology with our experiences in organizations to show how you make that difficult translation.
It is a plea to stop compromising and start capitalizing. We show that neurodiversity is not a charity project for the HR department, but a hard condition for innovation and growth in an increasingly complex world. Whether it concerns the introverted thinker who drowns in brainstorming sessions or the gifted fast-switcher who gets stuck in bureaucracy: their potential is the key to the future of your organization. But that key only fits if we are willing to change the lock.