You are not your thoughts

As an introvert, you may have thoughts that make you feel insecure, hold you back, or even hinder you in your daily life. Thoughts like "I'm not good enough," "No one wants to talk to me," or "I'm boring" can really hold you back. But are those thoughts actually true? And do you need to listen to them?

We have hundreds of thoughts every day, more than half of which are negative. This is a leftover from the time when we had to be vigilant about danger and things that were going wrong. However, we still have this tendency. This can lead to being too harsh on yourself.

For example, introverts often think they are boring because they don't talk constantly or seek attention. Sometimes they have literally been told: "You are so quiet." However, this is based on the misconception that you have to be extroverted to be interesting. More introverted people often have deep interests and a rich inner world that are just as valuable.

Additionally, introverts might feel less liked because they don't spontaneously talk to others as much. However, this is often a projection of their own insecurity. The truth is that many people appreciate the calmness and thoughtfulness of introverts.

Another common thought is that introverts are not assertive enough because they don't always voice their opinions or dominate conversations. But quiet strength and the ability to listen well can be just as powerful as assertiveness. This requires a different way of looking at things.

Letting Go

In all three examples above, it is about certain beliefs. In fact, nothing more or less than an electrical signal in your brain, which then leads to certain behavior. But ultimately, you decide whether to follow such a thought.

The first step in letting go of wrong beliefs is to recognize and name them. Write down your thoughts when they arise. This helps to keep them outside yourself and identify with them less.

Next, ask yourself if your thoughts are really true. What is the evidence for and against this thought? Often you will find that your thought is based on assumptions and not on facts.

Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, if you think "I'm not interesting enough," you can say: "I have unique and valuable perspectives that can enrich others."

Mindfulness can help you stay in the moment and observe your thoughts without judgment. This way, you can learn to see your thoughts as passing clouds in the sky, rather than truths that define you.

Instead of focusing on what you think are your shortcomings, focus on your strengths. What are your unique qualities as an introvert? Maybe you are a good listener, have a sharp observation skill, or can work well independently. Focus on those qualities instead of your shortcomings. Remember: you are not your thoughts, you are so much more.

Would you like to talk more about this? Feel free to contact me.